Brolin Xavier

Poems for my friends

A few of my friends have gotten married over the past couple of years, and for each one, I’ve written a poem. I've found it a useful exercise in reflection and gratitude to distill my relationship with my friend(s) both in and of themselves and within their own relationship, and my relationship to their relationship. I don't hope for much of it, and to be honest, the poems often fall out of me and onto a sticky note or my notes app under cover of darkness a week or two before the wedding. I have generally emailed out these poems and closed the application immediately, like submitting a job application with particularly high levels of expectation and anxiety. I don't know why -- these people are my friends, after all! If they don't like the poem, they'd still appreciate the thought, I think.


I am not a particularly strong speaker. I umm and uhh, I lose track of where I am in a sentence, and my sentences often do not end and begin in a typical fashion, instead colliding into each other with varying levels of force and cohesion. Further, talking about love and friendship is awkward, prone to blushing and my voice tends to crack and my eyes tend to fill. Writing about it is much easier, and clearer. Putting thoughts down onto paper (or screen) I can capture an emotion and evoke a memory more than mere speech. This is the essence of poetry to me. It provides a moment of quiet when everything feels too loud, all the time. A tiny meditation that I can share with those I love, and maybe those that I don't yet know.